Leigha's Little Library

Not book related, but sometimes life isn't all about books. I know, shocker!

When I talk about my mental health or chronic pain (etc) I am not whining, complaining or looking for pity. Hey, I know it can sound like whining, but if I don’t write about it, I wouldn’t have a healthy outlet. I’ve got to share this with people, because I know that there are people going through similar and we need to know we are not alone. Invisible conditions have such a stigma.

A stigma we should have never had. Why is it so shocking that a person can be ill or in pain, but look "normal" on the outside? What is normal anyway? Why is it just a weight problem when a heavyset person has to use mobile assistance, is in pain all the time and depressed? Believe it or not... fat people are allowed to be treated as more than a fat person. Not every condition is caused by excess weight. I’ve heard horror stories of fat people trying to get help, but sent away because “oh, honey, you just need to lose weight.”

I will fully admit that I know my weight doesn't help my problems, but my weight isn't the cause. It is a vicious cycle. Can't move because of pain, more pain because can't move. It is just...I wake up every day… day starts with a migraine. My joints need extra waking up time before I can move around. If you started every day with a migraine, or even a horrible headache, I’m sure that wouldn’t set the mood for a good day!

Sure, let me pop in a workout dvd… no, let me crawl under the bed away from sounds and light. Sounds like excuses, huh? It is really not. Then we got my lovely friend executive dysfunction, depression and body parts coming and going whenever they feel like it. Sudden sharp pains, hip, back, knee deciding to “pop” out for a little fun. (Spoiler: not really fun.)

Put yourself in my shoes and then ask why don’t I just workout… You try and be active when you are in pain everyday, depressed every day, and you are so much an empath that even hearing about a complete stranger having a bad day could set you off into an emotional mess.

I don't want you to feel sorry for me and I am sure a lot of people in similar boats feel the same way, though I can't speak for them. I'm happy if you offer to think about me or pray for me, but whatever you do...don't tell me to try yoga! I actually love yoga, but it isn’t a magical cure for anything. I’m sure it really helps when you can get to the point of actually being able to do it.

I’m not stupid. I know any activity is helpful. Tell that to my mind and body.

Pro Tip: Other things not to tell someone with invisible conditions

1. You don’t look sick [Sorry, I forgot to wear my "I am sick" shirt.]

2. You’re too young to be sick [What is the correct age for sickness, so I can tell my problems to hold off until then?]

3. Everyone gets tired [Of course, getting tired is normal, but not when it is 24/7]

4. You’re just having a bad day [I'm sure tomorrow all my issues will be cleared up! Thanks for your help.]

5. It must be nice not having to go to work/school [It is so nice to be in crippling pain... you're right! Lucky me.]

6. You need to get more exercise [And my chronic pain and depression will just "poof" away? Why didn't you tell me this sooner!?]

7. I wish I had time to take a nap [It isn't all it is cracked up to be when all you do is feel tired or sleep.. I wish I had "time" to do a lot of things, too.]

8. Think positive [And I will be fixed? Cool!]

9. Just push through it [I do that every day... because I am alive.]

10. It will get better, just be patient [How much more patient can a person be? When will it get better? Can you give me an exact date?]

11. Have you tried (insert your wacky ideas) [Oh, cool, and that will cure me?]

12. You should stop (insert things you judge me for) [So if I stop drinking loads of coffee, eating chocolate and reading children books, I will be fixed?]

13. It’s all in your head [WOW! You are SO smart!!]

14. You need to get out more [So...weekly trips to Wal-mart isn't enough?]

15. You take too many medications [You mean the medication that I need to be alive/gives me relief... okay, I will stop and see what happens!]

16. You should go to church [You mean...my cure has been there all along? The witch doctors lied to me! Ooo eee, ooo ah ah! Ting tang, walla walla, bing bang!]

Something you could say to a person instead of all these is a simple "I believe you. Is there anything I can do for you right now?"